Post by animegal999 on Jun 13, 2009 20:31:59 GMT -5
okay!! I've been very wary about putting this online 'cuz i'm paranoid that someone will steal. it IS an original idea I have and I have a whole entire story to go with this that I want published as an anime one day. but since this is a sm. forum and i can trust u guys I wanna get some feedback from you all. I only have the prologue done. I'm working on Ch. 1 at the moment. ^^
oh, and i don't have a title yet.
~~~~
Prologue
“Tristan!” Zack sliced his right sword through a being’s neck, as the left stabbed another in the forehead. “Tristan!”
“What?!” Tristan was busy fighting his own monsters. There wasn’t any time to talk. “Duck!” He swung his sword to his side just as Zack crouched down. Even down low, Zack managed to cut off the legs of one of the creatures while Tristan’s back was turned. Their positions went back to normal again.
“Go fine Jamie!” Zack yelled over the screeches of the blood thirsty monsters that seemed to just keep coming. The fire blazing in the town, just across the field was worrying him. All the smoke billowing into the sky covered the normally beautiful sunset, adding to the bleakness of war.
“You go! She’s your--”
“You can’t fight all these things by yourself with one sword!” His arms whipped out to his sides, decapitating two more beings. “I need to know she’s safe!”
“Okay!” Tristan thrust his sword into the dirt, making a bolt of red light shoot through the crowd of enemies. All the beings jumped away from it; then Tristan made his move, darting past the never-ending attackers. He ran despite the few bony creatures that followed him. The flames in the distance were engulfing much of Kainan already. Even with the girls and some locals fighting their share, many people were dying still. Amy and Marian could handle themselves, but Jamie was the gentle type. No way would she stand a chance against these revolting monsters. So on his friend’s behalf he would find her, and keep her safe.
Tristan raced up the hill, the beings still on his tail. He passed a black haired girl with pig tails who smashed the creatures’ heads easily with her large hammer. “I thought you were supposed to be helping Zack!” the girl shouted. It was loud enough in Aseria with the screeching, flames crackling, and frightened people screaming.
“He told me to find Jamie! Where is she?”
Amy swung her weighty hammer into three beings all at once, killing them in a second. “I don’t know! It’s hard enough fighting and trying to get everyone out of here!”
“I’m going to find her!”
“Careful!” she warned. “All the buildings are falling apart!”
Tristan nodded and charged through the rampaging crowd, swinging his familiar blade at any creatures that were in his path. There was one obvious spot to look for Jamie – in her house.
He could see it in the distance if he squinted; the smoke was making his eyes start to water as well. A being up on his right was feasting on a dead man’s carcass. He knew the freak of nature would only evolve and become stronger so he took the opportunity to stab it in the back, killing it instantly. Tristan was a few yards from the small house now. The first thing that caught his eye was a being trying to break through a window. As he tightened his grip on the sword handle he heard that familiar voice scream, but seconds later he heard children crying out in fear on the opposite side of the road. There were several kids getting chased by two very hungry beings. Tristan hesitated. Why weren’t any parents around?! If he went for Jamie, more lives would be taken in the end – children had barely any chance of survival. But if he rescued the kids, would Jamie make it? Would he break a promise to a friend? Well waiting was costing lives on both sides!
Right then, Tristan made a decision that would change his life forever.
~~~
plz commment!!
[and i've got pics of Tristan and Amy on my deviant art page. go check in that thread]
oh, and i don't have a title yet.
~~~~
Prologue
“Tristan!” Zack sliced his right sword through a being’s neck, as the left stabbed another in the forehead. “Tristan!”
“What?!” Tristan was busy fighting his own monsters. There wasn’t any time to talk. “Duck!” He swung his sword to his side just as Zack crouched down. Even down low, Zack managed to cut off the legs of one of the creatures while Tristan’s back was turned. Their positions went back to normal again.
“Go fine Jamie!” Zack yelled over the screeches of the blood thirsty monsters that seemed to just keep coming. The fire blazing in the town, just across the field was worrying him. All the smoke billowing into the sky covered the normally beautiful sunset, adding to the bleakness of war.
“You go! She’s your--”
“You can’t fight all these things by yourself with one sword!” His arms whipped out to his sides, decapitating two more beings. “I need to know she’s safe!”
“Okay!” Tristan thrust his sword into the dirt, making a bolt of red light shoot through the crowd of enemies. All the beings jumped away from it; then Tristan made his move, darting past the never-ending attackers. He ran despite the few bony creatures that followed him. The flames in the distance were engulfing much of Kainan already. Even with the girls and some locals fighting their share, many people were dying still. Amy and Marian could handle themselves, but Jamie was the gentle type. No way would she stand a chance against these revolting monsters. So on his friend’s behalf he would find her, and keep her safe.
Tristan raced up the hill, the beings still on his tail. He passed a black haired girl with pig tails who smashed the creatures’ heads easily with her large hammer. “I thought you were supposed to be helping Zack!” the girl shouted. It was loud enough in Aseria with the screeching, flames crackling, and frightened people screaming.
“He told me to find Jamie! Where is she?”
Amy swung her weighty hammer into three beings all at once, killing them in a second. “I don’t know! It’s hard enough fighting and trying to get everyone out of here!”
“I’m going to find her!”
“Careful!” she warned. “All the buildings are falling apart!”
Tristan nodded and charged through the rampaging crowd, swinging his familiar blade at any creatures that were in his path. There was one obvious spot to look for Jamie – in her house.
He could see it in the distance if he squinted; the smoke was making his eyes start to water as well. A being up on his right was feasting on a dead man’s carcass. He knew the freak of nature would only evolve and become stronger so he took the opportunity to stab it in the back, killing it instantly. Tristan was a few yards from the small house now. The first thing that caught his eye was a being trying to break through a window. As he tightened his grip on the sword handle he heard that familiar voice scream, but seconds later he heard children crying out in fear on the opposite side of the road. There were several kids getting chased by two very hungry beings. Tristan hesitated. Why weren’t any parents around?! If he went for Jamie, more lives would be taken in the end – children had barely any chance of survival. But if he rescued the kids, would Jamie make it? Would he break a promise to a friend? Well waiting was costing lives on both sides!
Right then, Tristan made a decision that would change his life forever.
~~~
plz commment!!
[and i've got pics of Tristan and Amy on my deviant art page. go check in that thread]